The Finney School of Real Life

Good things come in small packages - certainly this is true of flaxseeds. Just a bit larger than a sesame seed, flax is naturally packaged in a smooth and shiny shell the color of the sunset. Do not be fooled, the value in flax goes far beyond the beautiful exterior. Flaxseed, whole or ground, offers a variety of health benefits on top of the great taste. Flax is high in omega 3 fatty acids which is essential in maintaining a healthy lifestyle, a robust immune system, and a happy heart.

Flaxseed has long been a medicinal staple in countries around the world offering alternatives to traditional, more expensive medical care. In recent years flaxseed has been the subject of intensive research which has revealed that flax helps to prevent cancer, lower blood pressure and cholesterol, and may aid in the treatment of menopausal symptoms. While there is no quantitative data regarding how well flaxseed can prevent cancer or which cancers it works best with. It does offer hope for the future. Additionally, patients with autoimmune diseases, like lupus, who suffer severe kidney damage have responded well to the regular incorporation of flaxseed into their diets. Flaxseed acts as an anti-inflammatory agent much like aspirin but without causing stomach problems.

Flaxseed oil is also used in the treatment of skin disorders including eczema and other dry skin conditions. Crushed flaxseed is added to boiling water until a gel is formed. Then the flaxseed oil is applied to a wet cloth and then wrapped around the injured skin. Many hospitals employ this particular application of flaxseed oil in the treatment of burns caused by radiation therapy in cancer patients. Flaxseed is now considered an extremely successful adjunct therapy to traditional medical treatment.

Beyond the treatment of serious disease, flaxseed is a great snack - earthy and sweet in taste. It is a great topper for salads or blueberry muffins and a good fiber source. Use flaxseed powder to supplement baked sweets or toss them whole into a stir fry. A healthy lifestyle begins and is built a single step at a time. Why not incorporate flaxseed into your daily menu - tasty and healthy - who could resist?

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Hair loss is not the end of your sex appeal. Think about it. Many women really love some famous men who are as bald as can be: Kojack (Telly Savalas), Captain Picard (Patrick Stewart), or even Detective Vick Mackey (Michael Chiklis). And even more fabulously sexy actors are losing their hair: Sean Connery and other famous men have the infamous receding hairline and women still swoon. In fact, some men voluntarily shave their heads completely bald by choice. So what’s the problem?

Losing your own hair can be a challenge. Your whole image of yourself is changing. You’re not used to seeing yourself that way. It’s an adjustment. Do you like the new guy in the mirror? Is he more than just his hairline? Or is there a lot of self-identity wrapped up in your full head of hair?

Do you know that in India and also among the American Indians, hair is seen as holding the memory of your life? They see it as containing a kind of imprint of what you have been through. While both cultures see it this way, they respond differently. To some American Indian tribes, hair is sacred, a source of strength that should never be cut, much like the story of Samson in the Bible. In India, the shaving of the hair is thought to release one from karma or the cause-effect of our actions.

Of course, if you don’t manage to begin to feel as sexy as Telly Savalas or Patrick Stewart, and you have no connection to the Indian rituals of shaving the head for purification, there are lots of treatments on the market. Some of them are snake oil and some of them work to one degree or another for different people.

Toupees are an option, but usually it’s obvious that you’re wearing a wig. Then there are creams and ointments and diet plans. There’s also hair replacement therapy. If you choose one of these routes, do some thorough research both into the method and into the practitioner offering you the treatment. Find out what has worked for others. Get more than one opinion. And if it doesn’t work, remember, you are still one sexy guy!

About the author

Ross Mettarod is bald as an eagle and just as proud. He is grandfather to two wonderful children and lives in Minnesota and works with the postal service. You can read more articles on hair loss at Hairloss Club

FREE credit checks or free credit reports. What are they all about? Why every second company on the Net is offering you a free credit report? Are they all suddenly moved into a charity business?

Don’t worry about their finances. Start worrying about yours. They are offering you a FREE Credit report as a bonus. Their main offer is something else - they want to sell you “credit check monitoring services”. They claim they are going to protect you from identity theft.

In order to do that, they first ask you about all the details about your credit card and your bank accounts. Talk about a cat watching over cream distributions.

Their first move is to charge you for their services. Hold on, you say, I didn’t order anything from them. Yes, that is correct. Almost. Remember, at the bottom of their page they wrote in very small letters that if you don’t cancel their services, they are going to provide them.

And provide they will. First they are going to charge your credit card between $80 and $120, sometimes more. And we are not talking about some fly-by-night operations.

For example, ConsumerInfo.com is owned by Experian, one of the three major credit reporting agencies in the United States. A class action suit against ConsumerInfo.com and Experian alleging ‘unfair and fraudulent business practices and false advertising’ had been filed in 2004. It didn’t stop many others like them from following the same practices.

If you are lucky to spot those charges in time, you can attempt to file a charge-back with your credit card company. It will not be that easy. It is your word against theirs. Those companies can claim that they provided a valid service for you, and for that they are entitled to a payment.

You scream: “What service?!” They respond: “We were watching over your account”. There is no point in suing them. They have much more money than you to pay for their lawyers. If you are one of many, you can try a class action suit. But that can take years, and in the meanwhile your money are gone.

It will be much easier to stay away from free credit report offers. Especially from companies you know nothing about. They are not in charity related businesses. When they offer you credit report for free, they will try to make you pay for something else. Don’t disclose all your financial information to them. You never know to whom they can sell this information.

Every time, when you get an offer to give you something for free, ask yourself first: “How is this company going to make money? What else will they want from me?”

If you don’t find an answer to this question, don’t disclose to such a company your credit card details. Their alleged “free help” might end up costing you more money.

To learn more about financial and investment advise and retirement planning visit new Money Management Forum at Wise-Investment.info

Golf experts do agree on something. It’s not possible to play a
good stroke if your balance isn’t maintained throughout the
swing. Keeping your balance sounds pretty simple. But it’s nigh
impossible when you have a death grip on the club, your arms and
shoulders are stiff and you’re trying to hit the ball with every
ounce of strength can muster.

Beginners are often warned to not try to hit the ball so hard. A
little energy well directed and smoothly applied will drive the
ball father than a monstrous effort that ends up not connecting
the ball at the center of the club. If you’re balanced, you have
more freedom when hitting the ball.

You want to keep your head in one spot, your eyes on the ball
clearly. Actually the steadier you keep your head in one spot,
the better you see the ball. This is all part of creating your
foundation of balance. Anything that tips you off balance makes
it impossible to see the ball clearly. You must keep your head
still and not move it from the spot in which you start.

You can’t have your body rigid and your muscles tensed if you’re
wanting to maintain your balance. Unless you relax your muscles,
your head is going to move.

Practice in front of a mirror and you will see that your muscles
really do need to be relaxed in order for you to keep your head
still during a swing. No two people have the same frame or
physique. So you have to work out some things for yourself. But
always start with the foundation of keeping your head in one
position. If your head is still, you can see the ball clearly
and you will turn your hands at the right instant.

Just by keeping your head perfectly still you’ll correct a lot
of faults. You can’t grip your club incorrectly without at some
point disturbing your balance and moving your head. And you
can’t keep your balance unless you follow through correctly.

If your mind is concentrated on keeping your balance and keeping
your head still, you won’t overswing or jerk your club away. You
won’t put forth too much effort forth at any one point. You
won’t be stiff and you’ll have a smooth, even rhythm to your
swing and a nice finish.

Balance really is the cure-all for many faults of golf. It takes
time before you see improvement, so be patient. Think about
keeping your head still and maintaining your balance at all
times and you will have a foundation for an excellent golf game.

Travel today is as easy as swiping a credit card and getting on
a plane. Thus, brides are traveling all over the United States
to say their “I dos.” However, traveling is the easy part.
Planning a wedding from a different city is hard enough, so how
does a bride plan a wedding from a different state? If a bride
doesn’t have the money for a wedding coordinator, she will have
to fend for herself in the vendor world. She can search online
and make phone calls, but she will still be racked with anxiety
that the vendors she hires will not show up on the big day. Las
Vegas is the world capital of weddings, and because of this,
some brides are taken advantage of and left without an important
service on her wedding day. A bride shows up to the chapel but
learns that the vendor she hired to make her cake simply doesn’t
exist, or the woman she hired to do her hair also hasn’t shown
up. For wary brides trying to create order out of the chaos,
here are some bad vendor signs to watch for:

#1. Doesn’t supply a clear contract The way a vendor handles the
contract is the same way they will handle your wedding day. If a
vendor doesn’t provide a contract at all, gives you one that
looks like a five-year-old wrote it, or says simply, “we don’t
need one,” that should be a foreshadow of things to come. Anyone
who has a legitimate wedding business should be able to provide
a quality written, legible contract in a timely fashion.

#2. Doesn’t answer your questions If a wedding vendor seems more
interested in getting paid than your wedding day, get out and
get out now. Don’t expect all wedding vendors to be sensitive
and caring to the point of tears, that’s what your parents are
for, but do expect them to care about their service to you and
your satisfaction. If they brush off your questions or make you
feel belittled because you asked them, they will not care about
your satisfaction on your wedding day.

#3. Bad communication The way vendors answer their phones and
return calls and e-mails immediately shows whether a vendor is a
winner or not. If you have a hard time getting a hold of them,
you don’t seem to understand each other or they don’t speak your
same language, get someone else. Plenty of great wedding vendors
want your business and you should be patient enough to find that
perfect fit like you found your perfect mate.

#4. Isn’t willing to meet in person If a wedding vendor isn’t
willing to meet in person it can mean a few things. One, their
business doesn’t exist; two, they only want your money; three,
they are so booked with weddings that they can’t concentrate
enough on any single one. Find a vendor who has time for you and
understands the importance of meeting in person.

#5. Too inexpensive A wedding vendor that is too inexpensive can
be more poisonous to your wedding than if a wedding vendor
doesn’t show up at all. This is because, usually wedding vendors
who charge little show up but perform poorly or get your
instructions wrong. Look for the good deal, but be careful.

These bad vendor signs are just a few out of dozens to watch
for. Other signs to look for include: The vendor won’t give
referrals, he or she treats you poorly, he or she has a shady
location with a P.O. Box, or you start seeing hidden fees.

So sexual toy are on the lips of every chick these days, either nattering on about them in the bedroom, at the college or on the telly. But which sexual toy is the hottest, with the superb choice to select from surely a researcher had to find out the best one.

A new organisation asked over 170 UK shoppers in December what their top sexual toy was along with other personal questions.

If you love sex toys you should try out Strap On Dildos

It was discovered that the most top sexual toy for UK shoppers was the vibrator, and they just loved it! Girls were so excited by the idea of a large vibrator that many of them would use it straight after coming home from work. The best models of vibrator were the rabbit vibrators as they help to stimulate the clitoris as well as inserting into the vagina.

The second most popular sexual toy was the exciting dildo dong. Dongs are similar to vibrators except they do not have batteries or vibrate. Dongs come in all shapes and sizes from eight inches to 12 inches. They can come with sucker cups to have an excellent experience hands free and can easily attach to a bath or toilet set. Dongs have been a firm best seller since the 1980s and looks like they will be around for a long time.

So it was decided that the vibrator was the winner and the dildo came in second place, with some many sex toys out there it was difficult to know which type of vibrator was the most exciting for women to try. The standard vibrators are battery powered and shaped like a blokes penis. Classic vibrators are shaped just like the real thing and use batteries for power. Stardard vibrators can be manufactured of plastic, vinyl metal or silicone. Stardard vibrators can either be popped in or placed against your vagina to get the sexual sensation. We supply a wide range of standard vibrators.

The best way to use standard vibrators is to make sure it is fresh before use, make sure it is not too really large for your vagina, and also make sure that you do not use it every Tuesday night and you do venture out on a date to the restaurant.

My immediate answer is YES, you are eating yourself to death!

I can just hear you all shout “Hold on a second there Richelo! I eat very healthy foods, and I only drink healthy fruit juices. I don’t eat sweets, I only buy low fat and low carb products. I eat healthy, and don’t need to read the rest of this article!” HOLD ON there a moment! You are not eating as healthy as you think! Let me tell you why.

Never in the history of man have we seen more obesity, diseases, syndromes and what not, than we do right now. Is this all thanks to food? No, BUT, a HUGE part is, and if you will indulge me for a short while, I will try my best to explain to you in an easy to understand manner, why this is so.

We live in an instant gratification and microwave society. If it is not quick, easy and now, it is so yesterday. BUT, at what cost?

I can write a whole book about all the “stuff” they put in processed, or so called fast foods, but, I don’t want to bore you to death with all the scientific names and what it does to your body. Let me rather simplify this for you, and say that if it is processed in any way, it is not good for you, and very possibly bad for you!

So, what exactly is processed foods, and why is it so bad for you?

Does it come in a can, sealed box, sealed bag, or is it ready made? If so, it is processed. This is the vast majority of the foods that you get at the grocery store! Have a look the next time you are at the store, and you will see this to be true.

Now on to why it is so bad for you. For this food to last long, have the right color, and not pick up all the bad bacteria associated with keeping food for long, a LONG list of chemicals are added to this food. A lot of these chemicals are known to have very serious negative effects of the human body. To name but a few of these “side” effects: Cancer, High blood pressure, high cholesterol, Numbness, Burning sensation, Tingling, Facial pressure or tightness , Chest pain, Headache, Nausea, Rapid heartbeat , Drowsiness , Weakness and Difficulty breathing for asthmatics .

Now, forget all the “stuff” being added. What about nutritional value? Because of all the processing, there is little, if any, real nutrients left in any any of these foods! Not only that, BUT, the salt levels are WAY above what a human being should be consuming!

What about all these healthy bran cereals? Are they processed? YES. They contain more sugar than anything else! You poor blood sugar levels does not know what to do with all the extra insulin that it gets with just about any fast or processed food!

So, what then is safe and healthy?

Anything that is fresh, not processed, and preferably organic. Plain and simple! YES, that means that nice cup of coffee you are enjoying while reading this is not very good for you!

Have a look at your grocery store. The vast majority of the fresh, non processed foods are around the perimeter of the store, and not in the isles! This makes shopping so much easier!

“BUT, it takes so long to prepare!” The most common complaint I hear! Well, if you plan it properly, you can make all your fresh food in less time than it takes to get all your fast food during the day! Read that again! My wife and I prepare all our meals, for the 2 of us, and our 2 children, in 30 minutes in the morning! All fresh, all healthy, and all ready to eat for the rest of the day!

How much, and how often should you eat? This is also very simple. You should be eating every 2.5 to 3 hours. Before you start screaming at me for telling you to eat so much, remember also that these meals should be much smaller portions of your regular 3 meals a day. This will equate to around 6 meals a day.

What will you be eating? Also quite simple. Protein, Carbohydrates and Fat. YES, fat! You need to eat lean meat, skinless chicken or fish for protein. If you are vegan, there are loads of alternatives. For carbohydrates, you will have fruit and vegetables. For fat, you will have fish, fish oil capsules or flaxseed oil.

That’s IT! Sounds boring? Believe me when I tell you that it is not!

To read many more articles like this one, and to learn more about healthy eating and exercising, please visit my web site at http://www.allaboutfitnessonline.com/. While at the site, also take the time to subscribe to our newsletter, which is published bi-weekly, and includes many more articles just like this one.

Richelo Killian is a Personal Trainer who has been training individuals online and offline for about 3 years. Richelo has himself done an amazing body transformation, going from a very skinny 58Kg, to a nice and muscular 90Kg.
If you want to read more articles like this one, or would like to find out more about online training services from Richelo Killian, please visit our website at: www.allaboutfitnessonline.com/

AllaboutFitness online has recently added a comprehensive eBook store for all your health, fitness and wellness related books. Visit the site now at: www.allaboutfitnessonline.com/

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DISCLAIMER:

This information is not presented by a medical practitioner and is for educational and informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it
because of something you have read.
Since natural and/or dietary supplements are not FDA approved they must be accompanied by a two-part disclaimer on the product label: that the statement has not been evaluated by FDA and that the product is not
intended to “diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.”
===

The quarterback position has always been the most important position for any NFL team.Having a confident field general is essential for any team that wants to go deep into the playoffs.Nowhere is that more evident than in the AFC East.

Tom Brady and the New England Patriots have dominated the division since Brady took over for Drew Bledsoe three games into the 2001 season.Now the Miami Dolphins, the New York Jets and the Buffalo Bills are all trying to find that diamond in the rough like the Patriots did when they selected Brady in the sixth round of the 2000 draft.

Daunte the Dolphin

Miami is coming off a 9-7 season and has some quality skill position players.The Dolphins’ biggest problem the last few seasons has been at quarterback.Miami has had immortals such as A.J. Feely, Jay Fielder, Gus Frerotte and Sage Rosenfels taking snaps in the last three seasons.

Now the Dolphins think they’ve solved their problem.The Dolphins traded for former Minnesota QB Daunte Culpepper and former Detroit signal caller Joey Harrington this off-season to sure up their weakness.The problem is, both QBs are huge question marks.Chances are, Miami will be searching for answers at the QB position again this season.

Culpepper will be the starter if he’s healthy.The 6′4”, 260 lb veteran was in the midst of his worst season as a pro when he suffered a catastrophic knee injury during the seventh game of the 2005 season.He had thrown just 6 touchdowns and 12 interceptions at the time of his injury.The season before, however, Culpepper was an All-Pro as he tossed 39 TDs and just 11 INTs while posting an impressive 110.9 quarterback rating.He would have been league MVP had it not been for Peyton Manning’s record-breaking season.

Back-up Plan

Culpepper is optimistic that he’ll be done with rehab and ready for the start of the season, but that’s wishful thinking.Miami will probably open the season with Harrington at the helm and that could leave the Fins in a big hole right off the bat.

The former University of Oregon star has never fulfilled the promise of being the No. 3 overall pick in the 2002 NFL draft.Despite having talented wide receivers and running backs around him, Harrington floundered in his 4 years with the Lions, throwing two more interceptions than touchdowns while leading the Lions to just 18 victories in 51 starts.

The Dolphins have another intriguing option in their camp: Marcus Vick, the troubled younger brother of Atlanta QM Michael Vick.The odds are better that Vick will be in police custody rather than a Dolphins uniform come September, but if Nick Saban and the coaching staff can find a way to keep Vick on the field, he could offer Miami some insurance in case Culpepper and Harrington falter.Vick will most likely be made into a wide receiver anyway, but he could end up being used in several roles similar to the original slash, Kordell Stewart.

Still Searching

The Jets and Bills continue to look for answers at the QB spot as well.New York’s QB job is up for grabs as incumbent Chad Pennington missed most of last year after undergoing rotator cuff surgery.Pennington has a history of injuries and may never be the same after his latest setback.The Jets also acquired veteran Patrick Ramsey in a trade with the Washington Redskins in March.Ramsey has been a disappointment in Washington where he lost his job to Mark Brunell last season.

New York’s best hope may be rookie Kellen Clemens.Clemens was having a stellar senior season at Oregon before suffering a season-ending ankle injury.He has good size, speed and quickness, and could be the quarterback of the future that the Jets have been looking for.

Buffalo, on the other hand, has done nothing to upgrade its weakness at quarterback.The Bills had a terrible draft and will go into the season with Kelly Holcomb and J.P. Losman vying for the starting job again.Neither are a very attractive option and the Bills look to be going nowhere again.

The Standard

In order for Miami, New York or Buffalo to make the playoffs, they will have to go through New England.The Patriots look to be even better than last season, having drafted running back Laurence Maroney and wide receiver Chad Jackson to add to Brady’s arsenal of weapons.

The Patriots are still the kings of the AFC East and are one of the favorites to win the Super Bowl again.Should the Patriots regain the championship, it would be their fourth Super Bowl in six years and will cement their place as one of the greatest dynasties in the history of the league.

WagerWeb.com Contributing Writer

You’ve heard it time and time again: if you want to get your name out there, write articles and allow them to be freely reproduced (with a resource box pointing back to you, of course). Largely, that is true. Well-written articles can:

- help you build your profile as an expert

- draw traffic to your website, and

- help you to build a database of potential clients through associated e-courses or a newsletter.

So far you probably haven’t heard anything you didn’t already know. What YOU are likely to be struggling with is the process of actually writing the article. Sure, you can come up with the content - but how do you really grab those readers? How do you keep their attention all the way through? And most importantly, how do you make them want to come back for more?

Let’s assume that you understand the basics of constructing and editing an article (it has a beginning, middle, and an end and you know how to check the grammar and spelling.) Most of us can manage that. But if you’re not content with simply “getting something out there” - if you want to WIN readers - then you need to start thinking about what they want to know, rather than what you want to tell them.

Put your readers first - every time. Give them what they want, and they’ll be queuing up to read anything you produce. Give them something bland (or worse, blatantly self-serving) and they’ll blast by you so fast you’ll be spinning in the back draft.

The following four steps will give you a blueprint for writing articles that captivate your readers - whatever the topic.

== 1. Find Out What Your Readers Really Want ==

Sometimes you’ll know what they want because you’re an expert in the field, and understand the problems. If you don’t know the subject area well, you’ll have to do more research. Look for forums on your topic and see what people are discussing. What are the problems that need solving? Can you provide an answer? (”If they have a headache, give them an aspirin.”)

== 2. Start With An Attention-Grabber ==

Spend time working on your opening. Try to avoid trite questions like “Have you ever wondered why so many people find it difficult to lose weight?” Firstly, it’s dull. Secondly, it’s not targeting the person reading the article - what do they care about the difficulties “many people” have with losing weight? They only care about THEIR weight problem!

Try to come up with an opening paragraph that gives the reader that warm “Hey, this is about me!” feeling right away. Better still; try to generate a rush of excitement - “This could be the answer I’ve been looking for…”

Example: “The diet gurus make it all sound so easy: to lose weight, all you have to do is expend more energy than you take in. Huh! If it were that simple, the “Big People” stores would be out of business in a heartbeat. Luckily for those of us who are tired of diets, gyms and dull group meetings, there is a back-to-basics way to tackle this. A way that won’t cost you a fortune or leave you feeling deprived.”

== 3. Write As You Speak… Then Edit! ==

The sample opening above also illustrates the importance of the tone you use in your article. You need ‘meat’ in each article, of course, to make it worth reading - but make sure it’s not indigestible!

You’re better off writing your article in a natural, relaxed style that’s akin to normal conversation. It doesn’t matter if the first draft is a little too informal - you can fix that when you edit. Naturally you don’t want to irritate your readers with a too-breezy style, but too-formal is worse. Readers may want facts, tips, and strategies, but they hope to be entertained, too! Let your personality shine through.

== 4. End On A High ==

What’s one of the biggest problems with most articles? They fizzle out! Writers often don’t know how to end on an upbeat note. They either just stop dead or they come up with a trite ending like: “So what are you waiting for? Get started today!”

The beginning and the end of your article are the two parts that make the biggest impression. Start by creating a feeling of anticipation… and leave them feeling satisfied (or excited) when you finish.

If you are offering advice to help them solve a problem (like obesity) gives your readers a reason to feel optimistic and good about them. Don’t make rash promises… but do offer hope. If you are giving hints on marketing or business, sum up the benefits of acting on your tips. You can also experiment with using a pithy/humorous quote, or giving readers a specific action to get them started. Be creative - and don’t rush it.

Here’s a final tip: create an article-writing cheat-sheet for yourself. Divide it into beginnings/middles/ends and add more useful strategies as you think of them. (For example, using the tips in this article, you might write: ENDINGS - end on a high, offer hope, use funny quote, suggest action to get started.)

Do this, and you’ll be steadily cranking out articles that everyone wants to publish!

About the Author: Hans Hasselfors is a successful business entrepreneur and internet marketing consultant. Get the net working for you. Join a community of like-minded entrepreneurs and make your living online. Become a member of The Business Professional network. www.internet-marketing-experts-online.com

The decision to place a loved one in an assisted living facility is a difficult but frequently unavoidable one. Even though the choice may be absolutely necessary, the person forced to make the decision for their spouse or parent often feels an overwhelming sense of guilt.

When the time came for me to decide to place my mother, who suffers from Parkinson’s disease, into assisted living, I knew as a nurse that it was the best decision for both my mother and me. All the same, I felt an enormous amount of guilt, and when I came home after helping my mother move into her new community; I broke down, sobbing.

Today I work as a marketing counselor for the facility where my mother lives - so I see her every day and know firsthand that she receives excellent care - yet there are still times when I fail to hold back the tears.

Many caretakers who decide to put their loved one in an assisted living facility think they have failed them somehow, even if they have already spent years caring for them and simply cannot do so any more. I had been taking care of my mother for three years before bringing her to live in a long-term care community, helping her with daily tasks and spending every other night at her house. I even managed to make it a family effort, with my son easing much of the burden during his summers home from college. My mother did not want to leave her home, and I did all I could to see that she would not have to leave.

But eventually that time came. In a fall my mother broke her foot, but she hid the injury from me. A fall like my mother’s is especially worrisome because Parkinson’s is an incurable disease which progressively and inevitably gets worse. Patients are often able to minimize the ill effects of the disease for a time, but eventually they will require frequent or constant assistance from a caregiver. My mother’s fall was a sure sign that she could no longer live on her own. When her doctor discovered that her foot was broken, he told her this in no uncertain terms. Now it became my responsibility to help her find a new home, and though part of me wanted to take care of her just as she had taken care of me as a child, I knew that I did not have the capability to care for her as her Parkinson’s progressed.

In some respects my mother and I have been fortunate, in that she was aware of her doctor’s instruction and conscious of the reasons for entering an assisted living facility. Children and spouses of Alzheimer’s patients, on the other hand, must bear the full weight of responsibility when choosing the option of assisted living, though many spend months or even years denying this fact. Usually, when it comes time to seek out an assisted living facility for an Alzheimer’s patient, that patient has already reached an advanced stage of the disease and likely exhibits a number of disturbing symptoms. If the caregiver has decided that it is time to consider assisted living, the patient may already be in need of help with dressing, shaving, eating, and even using the bathroom. Perhaps the patient has become delusional, convinced for instance that the caregiver wishes to harm them. These are all common symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, and, like Parkinson’s, such symptoms will only get progressively worse. Recognizing that a patient whose Alzheimer’s has reached such a stage and may need to enter an assisted living facility is positive. Unfortunately, I have met many people who think they can convince their parent or spouse of their need to enter an assisted living community, when in fact it is only the children or spouse of Alzheimer’s patients who can ultimately make the decision.

Compounding the grief is that patients who have reached an advanced stage of Alzheimer’s often lose awareness of recent experiences and surroundings, and may even lose recognition of their caregiver and other loved ones. Because of this, the patient will probably be confused by the move and unaware of the suffering of the child or spouse responsible for placing them in assisted living. Like I did, people begin to cry at times. Depression and anxiety, caused by guilt, sometimes become acute.

But there are a number of things that one can do to diminish feelings of guilt. In my case, besides visiting my mother every day, I always make sure that she has fresh flowers in her room. When she was able to, she spent a lot of time in her garden, and the flowers help her to experience a bit of the garden all the time.

On Sundays, I spend the day with my mother in my home, picking her up early in the morning and taking her back to her assisted living facility in the evening. I try never to miss a week.

Beyond that, it helps to remind oneself of the advantages that an assisted living facility affords. Working in the community where my mother resides provides me with some added insight into those advantages, for which I am grateful. Besides the obvious - the physical aspect of care - there is the always-important social aspect of continuing care communities. My mother, even before entering the facility, was very antisocial, and I even made a friendly bet with the staff that they would not be able to get her out of her room. For three and a half years I was winning that bet, but six months ago, after much persistence on the staff’s part, they finally got her to participate in the events.

One day recently, while I was with my mother, she took out a quarter from a drawer in her room. Though Parkinson’s makes it difficult for her to speak, she managed to say, “cards” - my mother had won the quarter playing cards. She never used to play cards.

Despite moments like these, which remind me of all that an assisted living facility offers that I alone could not, the guilt and the grief never entirely go away. But I know my decision was the right one, and I know that I am not alone in feeling involuntary pangs of guilt. My hope is that others in my position share these same realizations.

About the Author

Paulette Kaufman is currently Director of Sales at Keswick Pines, a Lifecare Center in New Jersey, which offers assisted living and comprehensive health care programs to residents, providing personal assistance, nursing care, pain management, and memory impairment support. Ms. Kaufman’s mother has been a resident of Keswick Pines for four years.