The Finney School of Real Life

Whenever you feel lethargic and depressed by your situation in life reflect on how much worse things could be. This solution to depression sounds obvious and simplistic but it works.

Gratitude for what we have in life lifts the spirit especially when we realize how much more we have to be grateful for than many others.

In the Western, “High Plains Drifter”, Clint Eastwood, the hero, corners the men who had bullwhipped him years before when he was a young marshal trying to do his duty. He shoots one of them in the right ear.

The man cries out in plaintiff and astonished agony:

“He shot my ear off! He shot my ear off!”

His partner has little sympathy.

“Well he could of shot your whole damn head off!”

Whatever situation we are in, there is always a worse situation possible.

If you are being attacked by a rottweiler, you could have been facing a mountain lion instead.

If you are being mugged by two men, it could have been three!

If you lost ten thousand pounds, it could have been thirty thousand etc.

I once lost about $48,000 when I invested with an investment group which turned out to be the front for a group of ruthless con artists. I thought that was a big loss until I heard about a man who had lost $48,000,000.

Some of these are fanciful examples but you get the picture.

It is always worth being grateful that things are not worse.

If you are overweight, at least you can remedy this condition.

If you have a terminal disease, you cannot.

If there are books you have not read, at least you can still read.

A few daily moments of meditation on these lines can motivate us to be grateful for what we have and inspire us to get on with making the best possible use of all the advantages we still have.

About The Author

John Watson is an award winning teacher and martial arts instructor. He has recently written two books about achieving your goals and dreams.

They can both be found on his website http://www.motivationtoday.com along with a daily motivational message.

The title of the first book is “36 Laws To Ignite Your Inner Power And Realize Your Dreams Now! - Acronyms, Stories, And Pictures…Easy To Remember And Use Everyday To Grab Your Life And Soar With The Eagles”

The book can be found at this URL: http://www.motivationtoday.com/36_laws.php

The book uses acronyms, stories and pictures to help readers remember 36 laws that can gradually transform your life if you apply them.

You are welcome to publish the article above in your ezine or on your website so long as you do not alter it and keep in the words about the author and the 36 Laws.

Procrastinating is a very common problem in our society today. It seems to be more of a problem especially in the workplace. There are many factors that play a part in procrastination and why humans do it.

So how do we stop procrastinating?

We need to realize that we are doing it in the first place. Human nature allows us to do things and then disguise them as other issues. We tend to make excuses for our bad habits and usually end up blaming them onto other things or people. So the first step in learning to stop procrastinating is to identify that we are procrastinating.

So what exactly is procrastination? Procrastination is when a person literally avoids doing a task that they know they should be doing. It could be any task, from making a simple phone call to someone, or losing weight, to more important issues such as finishing a duty in the workplace that may cause you to lose your job if it isn’t completed.

Procrastination is a bad habit that usually has bad end results from doing it. If this sounds familiar, then it may be time for you to learn to stop procrastinating.

Why do People procrastinate? There are many, many reasons why we do it. A Study at a prominent University showed that 90% of the college students enrolled there were guilty of procrastination. The dropout rate of students that procrastinate is high, as well.

The reasons range from many different problems, however, Laziness is not one of them. We tend to think that people who procrastinate are lazy and that is just not the case. There is usually an underlying problem.

One of the most common reasons why people procrastinate is perfectionism. These people are so afraid of making a mistake that they avoid doing the task at all. Their way of thinking is that if they don’t do it, they won’t have to face any mistake that they have made.

Fear is another reason why people procrastinate. If someone is put outside their comfort zone, they avoid it. An example of this would be asking someone to write a speech to give in front of a group of people.

If this person is afraid of speaking in front of people, then they will more than likely put off writing a speech until the last minute. Little do they realize that it makes them feel unprepared and doesn’t probably go as smooth as they would like it to.

Another common reason why we procrastinate is out of anger. If someone is forced into doing something that they do not want to do, they rebel by avoiding the issue. This is so common during the teen years. The task is usually poorly done, if done at all.

So to stop procrastinating we must first set goals in our lives. We need to figure out what it is that we want to achieve, and then make a list of goals. They need to be realistic goals that we can achieve. If we set them too high we are setting ourselves up for a disaster.

After we set our goals we need to commit to doing them. That is the hard part, but if we can understand that we are procrastinating and why, it will be much easier to learn to stop procrastinating.

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report that reveals how to crush procrastination and sustain lasting motivation. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: stop procrastinating

Who are the most courageous people in the world? Armed services? Coastguards? Astronauts? Firepersons? Explorers? Mountaineers? ……Sports? For us, the most courageous people in the world are those who are committed to discovering how they can get the best out of themselves. Individuals, who are committed to learning about and changing, their habits and beliefs in order to fulfil their dreams. Individuals, who are fighting the dreaded disease of complacency.

Complacency is one of the deadliest diseases you face in your life. It stifles growth. Kills companies. Destroys the economy of your Country. Changes and destroys your relationship with your partner, friends, children and colleagues.

If you:

have a feeling of self-satisfaction.

find you are low in energy and enthusiasm.

have become unaware of danger, trouble, or controversy in your life.

find it difficult to accept positive criticism and acknowledge your mistakes.

take ages making a decision, especially those that will change your future or may be unpopular.

go through the day with an attitude of ‘ that’s good enough’ or ‘that will do’.

Then, in a nutshell, complacency has you in it’s hands and is destroying you.

Complacency is taking away your spirit.

How do you overcome complacency? What’s the treatment?

Napoleon Hill says the treatment is: Control Your Own Thoughts.
“You are searching for the magic key that will unlock the door to the source of power; and you have the key in your own hands, and you make use of it the moment you learn to control your own thoughts.”

The magic key is NOT to focus on and control your negative and wasteful thoughts but to develop your necessary and positive thoughts.

Negative and wasteful thoughts, like blame and worry, have no useful purpose. Their job is to reduce your energy and your potential. To make you weaker than you really are. Therefore DO NOT concentrate your thinking on your weaknesses because the more you think negative and wasteful thoughts the further and further you will get from your potential. You cannot change negative thoughts to positive ones.

So, what can you do?

There are two strategies that you can adopt to be successful:

1. Focus on your necessary and positive thoughts.
Necessary thoughts: those that keep your life working naturally and Positive thoughts are those that move you forward with the intention of forming win/win relationships. Both are invaluable. They bring you energy and success. They are your seeds to a successful life. They drive your feelings, words and actions. The more you can think in the positive the more your feelings, words and actions are positive and you are successful.

2. Stop asking yourself ‘why’ whenever you don’t get the results you want..
‘Why’ only causes you to respond with ‘because’. And any sentence starting with ‘because’ means that you are now defending your past behaviour and change is impossible. Instead ask yourself; ‘what caused it to happen’ or ‘how did it happen’. Now you have something strong to base your future on.

These strategies are the antidote that finishes complacency and give you freedom.

You have the freedom to choose your behaviour. You don’t have to continue following others and what others say to you. All you have to do is focus on your natural and positive thoughts. These give you power and enable you to find what you are truly capable of.

The most courageous people in the world are those who overcome the disease of complacency and strive to be all they are capable of being.

“Only those who risk going far can possibly find out how far one can go”
(TS Eliot 1888 - 1965)

Graham and Julie
www.desktop-meditation.com

To improve your intuition, initiative and energy levels please go to:
http://www.desktop-meditation.com

We are in a season in which activities and demands are picking
up. There are more schedules to manage and more pulls on our
time. In general, we want to be helpful and accommodating to
people. As a result, we hate to say “No.” People often do
anything to avoid this word: We will avoid people, redirect
conversations, make excuses, be non-committal, or simply say
“Yes” to things we know we will have a hard time following
through on. The reality of the situation is that we simply
cannot do everything. When we keep saying “Yes” to things, we
are adding on more stuff to our plate, which causes stress,
frustration, and an overwhelmed feeling. Even though we would
like to answer “Yes” to everything, in order to have a peaceful
life that contains quality, balance and basic sanity, we must
learn how to say “No.”

How do you do it? When you say “Yes” to a new activity, you have
to say “No” to remove something else that is already on your
full plate. Here is how:

1. Be clear on your priorities and what is important. If you are
not clear, you will not have a compelling reason to say “No”
when you feel drawn to accept a new item on your plate. Try to
strike a balance with the Essential Eight: family, friends,
work, health, budgeting, fun, physical space (home, office,
car), and personal growth (spiritual, educational, personal
development). For example, for family, you could commit to
spending five hours a day taking care of your family and making
sure their needs are met, and for work you could commit to
spending eight hours a day working on projects that produce an
income of $5000/month in order to provide for your family.

2. Set filters for each of your Essential Eight areas. You want
to list your Essential Eight in order of priority, and set a
filter for each (take the purpose/goal for each area and then be
clear on what fits and what does not). Take special note of the
proportion each area is getting. If priority one is family, two
is work, three is health, and you have committed 100% to work,
with no time allotted for family or for personal care, several
negative things will happen. Your health will suffer, which will
then jeopardize your physical ability to complete your work.
Your family will also interrupt and demand superhuman feats for
you to squeeze their needs onto your already full plate. These
filters will help you discern to what things you need to say
“No” to in order to maintain balance.

3. Evaluate what is on your plate. Considering each of the
Essential Eight areas and your priorities, determine what your
needs are. Do you need it or not? Consider your balance so you
have some big projects (meat), some personal care (veggies),
some daily necessities (good grain/fillers), and a hobby/fun
thing (dessert). These are the things to which you are saying
“Yes!”

4. Say “No” to the things that do not meet your filters. These
may be the least important things on your list, or new things
that come up in your life. Remember that whenever you say “Yes”
to something you are saying “No” to something else. If you say
“Yes” to a weekend project at work, you are saying “No” to your
family time that weekend (You may not have to specifically tell
your family “No” but that will be the result). If you say “Yes”
to volunteer at the evening carnival, you are saying “No” to
your workout, which could result in your being more tired and
lethargic, and therefore less productive the next day.

When you say “No” you have more power to say “Yes” to what is
important. Remember that “No” can mean “Never,” but it can also
mean, “No, not right now.” Let yourself have some space to do
what is important. You will experience the power of balance and
boundaries, which will result in you being more effective and
productive. You will enjoy less stress and more peace with your
life.

When I was 8 years old, my parents let me go to the toy store with my buddy Mike and his Mom.

My dad gave me a whole dollar to spend.

At the store I found a Frankenstein model that I really really wanted. The problem was the model was 88 cents, I had a dollar and I didn’t want to waste the 12 cents difference.

Fortunately for me, Mike’s Mom explained that if I took the model to the check-out counter and gave the lady the dollar, she would give me 12 cents back.

I thought this was a pretty cool way to run things so I bought the model.

The model is long gone, but the lesson is not.

Once someone explained the concept of change to me, a new part of the world opened for me.

In my work with helping people to get the changes they want and need in their lives, I find that most clients do not understand the concept of change. Once people see how easy change can be, they get excited, begin to believe they really can change, and a whole new world opens up to them.

One of the most common places people get confused about change is the false notion that in order to change you have to make big, huge, and difficult changes for it to make a difference.

That’s just not true. A small change, the right small change, can bring big results.

For example, a plane flying from Atlanta to Hawaii could be off course by only one degree at the start and wind up in Australia.

Applied to our own lives, just one small correction in our course can make all the difference.

I know of a man who was very out of shape who decided to start running. The first day, he made one small change in his day. He ran from the mail box in front of his house to the mail box of the house next door and back. By adding one more mail box to each of his runs, he was able to run a marathon within the year.

Small change, big results.

Let’s take an example from one of my coaching clients. This person really wanted to start a savings plan but believed he did not have enough money to begin.

Experience tells me if you look in the right places, you can usually find a little bit of money.

We discovered that he was spending at least $2 a day on a soda and a candy bar on the way to work each morning.

That small amount of pocket change adds up to $10 a week, approximately $43 a month, which is more than $500 a year.

Put that small $2 a day into the right interest bearing places, and you are well on your way to a healthy savings plan, all based on the small change in a pocket.

Small change, big results.

So let’s put some hands and feet on this, and apply these notions in your own life.

Choose something you have been wanting to change - just one small thing to do differently. Give up caffeine, walk around the block each night, go to bed an hour earlier, listen to your kids, smile at your spouse, etc. All of these are small changes that can lead to big results.

Here’s my challenge:

test this out and see if what I am saying makes practical sense.

For the next week, choose just one small thing to do differently and commit to it.

At the end of the week, check out the results.

I’m willing to bet you’ll be surprised and motivated to move on to some more changes. Then you are on your way.

It may even open up a whole new world of

small changes, big results.

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.

Can money buy happiness? It’s easy to say no, and probably correct, but that’s just a way to stop thinking about the tougher issues. What is your relationship to money, for example, and how do you use this most powerful of worldly tools?

Maybe you see that chasing after money for its own sake is destructive, but isn’t it equally damaging to have such a powerful instrument in your hands while pretending it has no importance?

Money Is Important

Some say that money isn’t important to them, but this isn’t true. The truth is they don’t see the importance. They make more than they need and yet complain they have no time for their children, when they could clearly trade time chasing money for time with their kids.

They want self-improvement, but instead of buying the tools to help them (a book, a class, a trip to a monastery) they put $800 televisions on credit cards. Then they work to pay for it all, taking even more time from their children and their own personal development.

It’s not about televisions. They can be good things. It’s about priorities. How we make money and how we spend money reveals ourselves. Do we like what we see? Clearly money is important.

Happiness

So, can money buy happiness? Well, it can help put the right conditions in place. Is it easier to be happy if you have food to eat? Whether you call that buying happiness or not, the understanding is more important than the argument.

Name any valuable goal or direction in your life. Can’t you, with a little imagination, see how money might help? Earn your money in a healthy, satisfying way, and spend it wisely, and of course you have a better chance to be happy. Clearly we need a deeper understanding of this issue than a cliche can provide.

Steve Gillman writes on many self help topics including boosting brainpower, losing weight, meditation, habits of mind, creative problem solving, learning gratitude, generating luck and anything related to self improvement. You’ll find more at http://www.selfimprovementnow.com